देसी हिंदी चुटकुले 2016


  1. EvEry Girl NEEds A Boyfrnd.....$$$$.....$$$$
  2. Bcoz,
  3. EvEryday EvEry MinutE
  4. SomEthing GoEs Wrong In HEr
  5. LifE.....$$$$.....$$$$ Which ShE Cant BlamE
  6. On God Or GovErmEnt.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  7. `
  8. #######################


  9. I FEEl LikE Having Mini HEart
  10. Attack.....$$$$.....$$$$ WhEn I Dont Find
  11. My MobilE My PockEt.....$$$$.....$$$$
  12. And,
  13. Its Almost LikE HEart Fail,
  14. WhEn I SEE It In My FathErs Hand.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  15. `
  16. #######################


  17. Dil To Krta H Ki Chhod Jau
  18. YE Zalim Duniya
  19. Phir Khyal Ata H Ki Mummy
  20. Ki HonE Wali "Bahu" Ka
  21. Kya Hoga??
  22. ('¡')/ Na Ji Na
  23. ( (
  24. ! !
  25. .....$$$$
  26. Program CancEl.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
  27. `
  28. #######################


  29. Husband: Sunti Ho, MEri Maa Aayi Hai.....$$$$
  30. WifE: YE Bhi Na Jab DEkho Yahin Aa
  31. Jaati Hai Ab Kya Kaam Hai?
  32. Husband: ArE 2kg Pyaaj Bhi Layi Hai.....$$$$
  33. WifE: Aap Bhi Na.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$ PEhlE Nahi Bolna
  34. Tha Maa Aayi Hain.....$$$$ Kabhi Kabhi To Pyaar
  35. Aur Ashirwaad NasEEb Hota Hai Badon Ka.....$$$$
  36. `
  37. #######################


  38. Hum Kal Raat Aasmaan PE
  39. TumharE LiyE SitarE LEnE
  40. GayE Par Khali Hath Wapas
  41. Aa GayE JantE Ho Q
  42. Qki
  43. PolythEEn To Ghar Par Hi
  44. Bhul GayE ThE.....$$$$ ;-)
  45. `
  46. #######################


  47. Girls HostEl ME Aag Lag
  48. Gayi, Pas Hi K Boys HostEl
  49. K Ladko NE HElp Ki.....$$$$ Tv Pr
  50. NEws Aayi aag PE Kabu Pa
  51. Liya Gaya HE, LEkin Ladko Par
  52. Kabu PanE Ki Koshish Jari Hai.....$$$$

  53. `
  54. #######################


  55. Machhar Bola Insaan SE
  56. Mat Maro HumE Jaan SE,
  57. Jang Chhid JayEgi,
  58. Dushmani Badh JayEgi,
  59. Mana Ki Aap ME Junoon H,
  60. Par Humari Ragon ME Bi
  61. To Aap Hi Ka Khoon.....$$$$
  62. `
  63. #######################


  64. Bahut Muskil Ho Jaata Ha
  65. Us Waqt Jabaab DEna
  66. Jab Banda Bathroom ME Ho.....$$$$.....$$$$
  67. .....$$$$
  68. .....$$$$
  69. Aur Girlfrnd PoochE LE.....$$$$.....$$$$
  70. Jaanu Kya Kar RhE Ho.....$$$$.....$$$$?
  71. `
  72. #######################


  73. A man kills DEER & cooks it &
  74. doEsnt tEll kids what it is?
  75. HE givEs a CluE.....$$$$.....$$$$ 
  76. its what ur Mom calls mE!
  77. Son ShoutEd: Koi mat
  78. khana.....$$$$.....$$$$ KUTTA hai KUTTA!!
  79. `
  80. #######################


  81. Machar Ka Bacha PEhli
  82. Bar Uda, Jab Wapis Aya
  83. Baap NE Pucha? Kaisa Laga
  84. UdkE? Machar Bola Bahut
  85. Acha Papa, Jidhar Bi Gaya
  86. Log Taliya BajarhE ThE.....$$$$.....$$$$
  87. `
  88. #######################


  89. Chota Bachcha: UnclE Gora
  90. KarnE Wali KrEEm Hai ?
  91. Dukandar: Han Hai!
  92. Chota Bachchato: SalE Lgata
  93. Q Nahi Mai Roj Dar Jata Hu !
  94. `
  95. #######################


  96. ('.....$$$$') Lo Ji
  97. <)'(> Arz
  98. _/'/_ Kiya Hai.....$$$$

  99. Dunia MEin Bahut
  100. Dard E Tanhai Hai

  101. \('',)/''Wah
  102. \ \ Wah
  103. _/ \_ Wah
  104. Zalimo Tum B Msg Kro
  105. MEri Kya Muft Ki Kamai Hai.....$$$$

  106. `
  107. #######################


  108. 1 Glass Pani Lo UsmE
  109. NEEm Ki Patti Dalo 2
  110. hours K LiyE Rkhdo Phir
  111. 10 Mingaram KarkE PEElo
  112. Jab Kanjusi K KEEdE Mar
  113. JayE Fir Sms Kr DEna.....$$$$.....$$$$
  114. `
  115. #######################


  116. Doctor To InjurEd PatiEnt
  117. Jab Car Ek Lady Chala Rahi
  118. Thi To TumhE Road SE Duur
  119. Chalna Chayi Tha.....$$$$
  120. .....$$$$
  121. .....$$$$
  122. PatiEnt: AbEy Kon Sa Road?
  123. ME To Park ME LEta Huaa Tha.....$$$$
  124. `
  125. #######################


  126. Books SaamnE Rakh Kar B
  127. Na PadhnE DEnE Wali Kaali
  128. Shakti Ko Kya KEhtE Hai?
  129. .....$$$$
  130. .....$$$$
  131. .....$$$$
  132. .....$$$$
  133. .....$$$$
  134. .....$$$$
  135. Ans: MobilE
  136. `
  137. #######################


  138. Finally,
  139. I Told My ParEnts That
  140. I Want A BlackbErry Or An
  141. ApplE
  142. My MothEr Said:
  143. .....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
  144. "Ghar MEin Mosambi Hai,
  145. PEhlE Woh Kha"
  146. `
  147. #######################


  148. Ek Conductor Ki Shadi Ho
  149. Rahi Thi, Jab Dulhn PhEro
  150. KE Waqt UskE Pas Akar
  151. Baithi To Vo Bola Thoda
  152. Pas Ho K Baith, Ek Sawari
  153. Or Baith Sakti Hai.....$$$$ :-)
  154. `
  155. #######################


  156. GirlfriEnd Ki SistEr Agar MissEd
  157. Call KarE To UssE Kya KahEngE….....$$$$?
  158. .....$$$$
  159. .....$$$$
  160. .....$$$$
  161. .....$$$$
  162. .....$$$$
  163. .....$$$$
  164. BEtaaa.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
  165. Mann ME Dusra Laddu Phoota.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$

  166. `
  167. #######################


  168. Kitna Lucky Hoga Wo BoyfriEnd.....$$$$
  169. Jiski GirlfriEnd.....$$$$
  170. .....$$$$
  171. .....$$$$
  172. .....$$$$
  173. .....$$$$
  174. UssE KahEgi: Jaanu Tum PhonE
  175. Rakho, Mai Call Karti Hu
  176. `
  177. #######################


  178. Girl: Fish Tank Ko DEkh K
  179. Boli Machliya Itni Sundar
  180. Kyun Hoti HE?
  181. .....$$$$
  182. .....$$$$
  183. Boy: SpritE PitE HuE Kyunki
  184. Wo KapdE Nahi Pahnti.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  185. Sidhi Baat No Bakwas!
  186. `
  187. #######################


  188. Humko To "BottlE" NE Loota
  189. "Paava" ME Kha Dum Tha,
  190. HumarE To BottlE Bhi FootE
  191. Janha "ThEka" Band Tha.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  192. `
  193. #######################


  194. Duniya ME Kuch AisE
  195. GadhE Hai, jinhE Har Sawal
  196. Ka Jawab sirf Na MEin
  197. DEna Ata Hai, kya Aap
  198. Bhi Un ME SE Ek Hai ?
  199. `
  200. #######################


  201. Upar WalE NE Apko BhEja To
  202. BhEja Par BhEja To Aisa
  203. BhEja K BhEjE ME BhEja Hi
  204. Nahi BhEja Dont Mind YE MujhE
  205. Kisi Or NE BhEja To MEnE
  206. Apko BhEja DEkha MEra BhEja
  207. `
  208. #######################


  209. 3 Most Difficult Things
  210. To Do In ThE World.....$$$$.....$$$$
  211. 1.....$$$$ You Cant Count Ur Hair.....$$$$

  212. 2.....$$$$ You Cant Wash Your EyEs
  213. With Soap.....$$$$

  214. 3.....$$$$ You Cant BrEathE WhEn
  215. Your TonguEis Out.....$$$$.....$$$$

  216. Now PlEasE Put Ur TonguE
  217. Back InsidE.....$$$$.....$$$$

  218. `
  219. #######################


  220. YE Kash FaaslE Na HotE, Kash
  221. Hum Tum SE Door Na HotE, Kash
  222. Hum Aur Tum Saath HotE, To Sms
  223. KE PaisE Bacch JatE, Or Hum
  224. Dono In Paisoo SE Kurkura KhatE!
  225. `
  226. #######################


  227. GF: HaM BaHuT BaDNaaM Ho
  228. CHuKE H
  229. Ab HaME SHaDi KaR LENi ChAHiYE
  230. BF: LEKiN ItNi BaDNaaMi K
  231. BaaD TuMSE SHaDi KaREGa KoN.....$$$$
  232. `
  233. #######################


  234. Jindagi BEhaal Hai, Sur Hai
  235. Naa Taal Hai, Msg Box Bhi
  236. Kangal Hai, Kya Aapki Sms
  237. Factory ME Hadtal Hai, Yaar
  238. Kuch To BhEjo YE MEri, MobilE
  239. Ki Zindagi Ka Sawaal Hai.....$$$$
  240. `
  241. #######################


  242. <('.....$$$$')>Chingu
  243. <('.....$$$$')>Pingu
  244. <('.....$$$$')>Mingu
  245. Kya YE BacchE ApkE Hai,
  246. Agar Nahi To AagE BhEj Do,
  247. JiskE HongE Rakh LEgE.....$$$$
  248. Surat Mil Rahi Thi To
  249. Laga ApkE HongE.....$$$$.....$$$$
  250. `
  251. #######################


  252. ''\ /"
  253. | | HElp
  254. ,/(.....$$$$".....$$$$)\,

  255. Latka Diya Na Ulta?
  256. Is Ka Kasur Pata Hai
  257. Kya Tha YE MujE Sms
  258. Nahi BhEjta Tha.....$$$$
  259. Tum Bhi Soch Lo.....$$$$
  260. `
  261. #######################


  262. WifE: TumhE Pyaar Karna Nahin
  263. Aata.....$$$$
  264. Husband: To Kya YE 3 BachchE
  265. IntErnEt SE Download KiyE Hain.....$$$$?
  266. WifE: Nahin YE To Padosi KE
  267. PEndrivE SE LiyE Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$

  268. `
  269. #######################


  270. Machhar Bola Insaan SE
  271. Mat Maro HumE Jaan SE,
  272. Jang Chhid JayEgi,
  273. Dushmani Badh JayEgi,
  274. Mana Ki Aap ME Junoon H,
  275. Par Humari Ragon ME
  276. Bi To Aap Hi Ka Khoon.....$$$$
  277. `
  278. #######################


  279. TEchnology Kya Hai?
  280. Ek TimE Wo Tha Jab Msg,
  281. Kabutar SE BhEjtE ThE.....$$$$
  282. Or Ek Aaj Ka TimE Hai Hum
  283. Msg, Kabutaro Ko BhEj RhE
  284. Hain.....$$$$.....$$$$ Hurrrr! Hurrrr!
  285. `
  286. #######################


  287. HEight Of Addiction:
  288. In A CollEgE Form, WhEn
  289. AskEd About ThE "PErmanEnt
  290. AddrEss", A StudEnt WrotE
  291. "www.....$$$$facEbook.....$$$$com"!
  292. `
  293. #######################


  294. Ek Aap Ho KitnE AchhE Ho
  295. KitnE BholE Ho KitnE PyarE
  296. Ho KitnE Smart Ho KitnE SwEEt
  297. Ho Aur Ek Hum Hai Ki Jhooth
  298. PE Jooth BolE Ja RahE Hai.....$$$$
  299. `
  300. #######################


  301. Boss Hangs A PostEr In OfficE
  302. "I Am ThE Boss, Do Not ForgEt"
  303. HE REturns From Lunch,
  304. Finds A Slip On His DEsk.....$$$$
  305. "Ur WifE CallEd,
  306. ShE Wants HEr PostEr Back HomE.....$$$$"
  307. `
  308. #######################


  309. Girl To Boy (In Party): ExcusE ME!
  310. Boy: YEs ?
  311. Girl: MErE Ek Hath MEin PlatE Hai
  312. Aur Ek Hath MEin Glass, I Can't
  313. UsE ThEm.....$$$$.....$$$$ Kya Aap MErE FacE Pr
  314. SE Ek ChEEz Hata SaktE Hain? 
  315. Boy (VEry Happy): Ji Bolain Kya
  316. Hataana Hai ?
  317. .....$$$$
  318. .....$$$$ 
  319. Girl: Apni KuttE JEsi Nazarain!!

  320. `
  321. #######################


  322. TEachEr: AnyonE Who Thinks
  323. HE's Stupid May Stand Up!
  324. .....$$$$
  325. *Nobody Stands Up*
  326. .....$$$$
  327. TEachEr: Im SurE ThErE ArE
  328. SomE Stupid StudEnts OvEr HErE!!
  329. .....$$$$
  330. *LittlE Johnny Stands Up*
  331. .....$$$$
  332. TEachEr: Ohh, Johnny You
  333. Think You'rE Stupid ?
  334. .....$$$$
  335. LittlE Johnny: No.....$$$$.....$$$$ I Just
  336. FEEl Bad That You'rE Standing AlonE.....$$$$.....$$$$
  337. `
  338. #######################


  339. Rok Do MErE JanazE Nu
  340. MErE Vich Jaan As Gai Hai,
  341. Saaloo PEEchE Much KE DEkho
  342. Sharab KE Dukaan Aa GyE
  343. Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$ ChEErs.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  344. `
  345. #######################


  346. Girl1: How Was Ur 1st DatE
  347. Girl2: Gud, &
  348. Wo RaEs (Rich) Ghar Ka Lagta
  349. Hai
  350. Girl1: Wo KEsE ?
  351. Girl 2 : MujhE Kiss KarnE
  352. Aaya Tab UskE Muh SE Piyaaz Ki
  353. SmEll Aa Rahi Thi.....$$$$.....$$$$
  354. `
  355. #######################


  356. Aaj MujhE Ek Ladki KEhti,
  357. MujhE FacEbook PE Id Bana
  358. Do, MainE Kaha: TujhE Id
  359. Chalani Aati Bhi Hai Kya.....$$$$??
  360. .....$$$$
  361. .....$$$$
  362. Woh KEhti: Chala Aap LEna.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$
  363. Main PicchE Baith Jaungi Lol
  364. I LikE SMS - LikE: 51 - SMS LEngth: 173 - SharE
  365. Tags: Funny SMS

  366. V€€R PostEd In JokEs SMSAddEd 2 yEars ago
  367. Bhgwan SE MainE Kha, HEy
  368. Bhgwan MujhE Dard DE,
  369. Sitam DE, Dukh DE, TEnsion DE,
  370. Bhgwan BolE Kyu Guhma
  371. FEraa K Bola Rha Ha,
  372. SidhE SidhE Bolna TujhE
  373. GirlfriEnds ChiyEa.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  374. `
  375. #######################


  376. Hum Dono Main CutE Kon?
  377. Smart Kon? Dashing Kon?
  378. SwEEt Kon? HandsomE Kon?
  379. YE Sab Tum To Hoo NahE
  380. Saktay To Bachaa Kon.....$$$$.....$$$$?

  381. `
  382. #######################


  383. Hawa ChhalE LadkE BahgE,
  384. Hawa ChhalE LadkE BahgE,
  385. Gaur FarmiyEa,
  386. Hawa ChhalE LadkE BahgE,

  387. Hawa Nhi ChaltE LadkE
  388. Nhi BahhgtE.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  389. `
  390. #######################


  391. WifE: Kal Rat Tum MujhEy
  392. NEEnd MEin Galian Kion DE
  393. RahEy Thai?
  394. Husband: TumhEy Ghalat FEhmi
  395. Hoi Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$
  396. WifE: KEsi Ghalat FEhmi
  397. Husband: YEhi K MEin NEEEnd
  398. MEin Tha.....$$$$
  399. `
  400. #######################


  401. Pagal Hai Wo Log Jo Ladkiyo
  402. Ko Miss KartE Hai, Miss Karna
  403. Ha To Machharo Ko Karo,
  404. Jo Jaan HatEli PE REkh Kar
  405. Aap Ko Kiss KartE Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  406. `
  407. #######################


  408. 1 Admi Doston Ki MEhfil SE
  409. Raat LatE Ghar Gaya Dosto
  410. NE Pucha K WifE NE Kuch Kaha
  411. To Nahi Admi Bola Nahi Kuch
  412. Khas Nahi Bus YE 2 Dant To Mai
  413. WEsay Bhi NiklwanE Wala Tha
  414. `
  415. #######################


  416. Husband: Rat Ko MEnE 1 Horror
  417. MoviE DEkhi, 1 Churail Kabhi
  418. MErE AgE Kabhi PichE Aur Kabhi
  419. Sath Chal Rahi Thi,
  420. WifE: Kaun Si MoviE Thi?
  421. Husband: Apni Shadi Ki
  422. `
  423. #######################


  424. WifE: Suno Ji Doctor NE
  425. MujhE Aik MahEEnay K Araam
  426. K LiyE BEautiful ForEign Country
  427. Janay Ko Kaha Hai.....$$$$

  428. Hum Kahan JayEn Gay?
  429. Husband: Doosray Doctor K Paas

  430. `
  431. #######################


  432. Husband WifE MEin Larai Hoi,
  433. Husband Ghar SE Chala Gaya,
  434. Husb: Rat Ko PhonE Pay,
  435. Khanay MEin Kia Hai
  436. WifE: ZEhEr.....$$$$
  437. Husb: Mai Dair SE Aonga,
  438. Tum Kha Kar So Jana.....$$$$
  439. `
  440. #######################


  441. WifE: Jaanu Kash Aap Sms
  442. Hotay, Main Aap Ko SavE
  443. Karti,
  444. Husband: Jaan E Man, Kaash
  445. Tum Ring TonE Hoti, Main HEr
  446. Haftay TumhE ChangE Karta ;-)
  447. `
  448. #######################


  449. Tofani Barish MEin Rat Ko,
  450. Shop PEr 1 Admi Pizza LEnay
  451. Aaya ShopkEEpEr: Aap MarriEd
  452. HEin? Admin:is Tofani Barish
  453. MEin Kia MEri Maa MujhEy Pizza
  454. LEnay BhEjay Gi?
  455. `
  456. #######################


  457. Suna Ha AapkE Muskurhat
  458. Par Har Koi Marta Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$
  459. Zara TimE Nikaal Kr Aana To 
  460. Ek Chooha Maarna Hai.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!
  461. `
  462. #######################


  463. Ab 5rs.....$$$$ ME PayE Ek Naya
  464. Sim JismE 20rs.....$$$$ Ka Card
  465. SE 5000 Sms FrEE, 8am To
  466. 8pm SharE Call FrEE For
  467. MorE DEitals Log On To ja
  468. Apna TowEr Khud LagalE.....$$$$com
  469. `
  470. #######################


  471. TErE Pyaar KE Roshni AisE
  472. Hai KE, Har Tarf Ujaala
  473. Nazaar Aata Ha.....$$$$.....$$$$ Sochta Hu
  474. K Ghar KE BijlE Katvaa Du
  475. Kambhkt Bill Bahut Aata Ha.....$$$$.....$$$$.....$$$$!

  476. `
  477. #######################