SMS INDIA हिंदी चुटकुले

Sister To Brother: WhAt Are U Going
To Gift GrAndmA On Her BirthdAy.?
Brother: FootbAll.....???
Sister: But GrAndmA Does Not PlAy.....???
Brother: On My BirthdAy She GAve
Me BhAgvAd GitA.....??? UskA KyA.....????
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AssistAnt: Sir, AAp Office Me ShAAdi
ShudA AAdmiyon Ko Hi Kyu RAkhte
Ho.?
Boss: Kyuki Unhe BeizzAti Sehne Ki
AAdAt HAi,
Aur GhAr JAne Ki JAldi Bhi NAhi Hoti......###
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Ek AAdmi Ki Biwi MAr GAyi,
Dost Usko Chup KArAne Ke BAAd.....???
Tujhe Kuch ChAhiye.....????
AAdmi: LAptop LA De.....???
Dost: Kyu SAb Thik HAi NA.....????
AAdmi: FAcebook Pe
StAtus To Single KAr Du.....???.......###
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HusbAnd: Mujhe Ajeeb Si BimAri
Ho GAyi HAi,
JAb Meri Biwi Bolti HAi To Mujhe 
Kuch SunAAi NAhi DetA.....???
HAkim: MAshAAllAh Ye BimAri NAhi,
Tum PAr AllAh Ki RehmAt Hui HAi......###
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LAdy: Mujhe Aisi SAbji Do Jiske
2 FAyde Ho
Admi: Ye Lo KAkAdi
PAsAnd AAye To KhA LenA VArnA
Gol Piece KAtke AAnkh Pe LgA
LenA VAise AAp Ki Soch Ko SAlAm.
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UnmArried Boy: Mujhe ShAdi NAhi
KArnA, Mujhe SAb AurAton
Se DArr LAgtA HAi.....???
FAther: KAr Le BetA, Fir
Ek Hi AurAt Se DArr
LAgegA, BAAki SAb Acchi LAgegi......###
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Ek SAntA Ko Koi Mobile Pe TAng
KAr RAhA ThA, SAntA Ne New
Sim KhAreed KAr Usko Sms KiyA.....???
MAine Wo Number BAnd KAr DiyA
HAi, Ab TerA BAAp Bhi
Mujhe TAng NAhi KAr SAktA.....???......###
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MAn: Sir, My Wife Is Missing.....???
PostmAn: Ye Post Office HAi,
Police StAtion NAhi.....???
MAn: Oh Sorry,
SAlA Khusi Ke MAre KAhA JAAu
SAmAjh Me NAhi AA RAhA.....???.......###
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WAshing Powder NirmA:
Now The Entire TeAm Of NirmA
Is In The PArliAment.....???
HemA, RekhA, JAyA Aur
SushmA, SAb Ki PAsAnd NirmA......###
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If Wife Kisses Everytime U Come
BAck Home, Remember Its Not
Affection.....??? Its Inspection Of
DAAru, Perfume Or Lipstick,
Be CAreful.....??? JAnhit Me JAAri.
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Where Do U See MANGOES.....????
MAngo Tree .....??? No
Fruit Shop .....??? No
MAAzA .....??? No
Then.....???.?
Answer:
JAhA JAhA BeAutiful WomAn
Goes.....???
Peeche Peeche MAN GOES.....???.......###
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Mouse Ki GAng TAlwAr LekAr BhAAg
RAhi Thi.....???
Lion Ne PuchA: KyA HuA, Kyu Tum
Log Itne Gusse Me BhAAg RAhe Ho.?
Mouse: ElephAnt Ki Beti Ko Kisi
Ne Propose KiyA HAi, NAAm HAmArA
AA RAhA HAi, LAAshe BichA Denge.

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TeAcher: GAngA, YAmunA, KAveri,
KrishnA BhArAt Ki NAdiyon Ke 
NAAm HAin,
To PAkistAn Ki NAdiyon Ke NAAm
BAtAAo.?
PAppu: RukhsAnA, FArzAnA,
RizwAnA SultAnA Aur ShAbAnA......###
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JAhAn Dosti VAhn PyAr, JAhAn
PyAr VAhin Ishq, JAhAn Ishq
VAhAn JudAi, JAhAn JudAi
VAhin DArd, JAhAn DArd VAhin
JAndu BAlm, JAndu BAlm
LAgAo Aur Chup KAr Ke So JAo.
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Neend AAti HAi To KhAAb AAtA
HAi, KhAAb Mein Ek LAdki AAti
HAi, LAdki Ke Piche UskA BAAp
AAtA HAi, Phir NA Neend
AAti HAi NA KhAAb AAtA HAi.
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HusbAnd And Wife Dono MArket GAye
To Ek LAdki Ne Hello KiyA.....???
Wife: KAun Thi Wo.?
HusbAnd: Tum Plz DimAg KhArAb
MAt KAro, Abhi Usko
Bhi BAtAnA HAi Ki Tum KAun Ho.....???
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Superb Attitude For Life: Cheers
All The Boys For This.....??? Living
With Wife Is A PArt Of Life,
But Living With The SAme
Wife For YeArs, Is Art Of Life......###
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A Letter From A TeAcher To A PArent
DeAr PArent, KumAr Doesnt Smell
Nice In ClAss, Plz Try To BAth
Him.....??? PArents Answer: DeAr
TeAcher, KumAr Is Not A
Rose, Dont Smell Him TeAch Him.....???......###

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Dog And Mosquito Were In Love,
Mosquito Kissed The Dog.....???
Dog Become EmotionAl GAve A
Love Bite To Mosquito.....???
Mosquito Died Of RAbies, Dog
Died Of Dengue.....???
MorAl: IntercAste Love Is DAngerous.
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RAilwAy Tc: BAbA KAhA JAoge.?
SAdhu: JAhA RAm KA JAnAm HuA
ThA.....??? RAilwAy Tc: Ticket HAi.?
SAdhu: NAhi HAi.....???
RAilwAy Tc: To ChAlo.....???
SAdhu: KAhA.?
RAilwAy Tc: JAhA KrishnA KA
JAnAm HuA ThA.....???.......###
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Two CockroAch ICU Me Ek Dusre
Ke BAgAl Me Admit ThAy.....???
1st: Kisne MAArA, Hit YA Slipper.?
2nd: Arre Kisi Ne NAhi YAAr,
Ye LAdkiyAn Mujhe Dekh Ke ItnA
ChillAti HAi Ki.....??? AttAck AA GAyA......###
I Like SMS - Like: 87 - SMS Length: 188 - ShAre
TAgs: Funny SMS
CrAzyNeelAm Posted In Jokes SMSAdded 1 yeAr Ago
Son: PApA KAl School Me SmAll
Get Together HAi ChAloge.?
FAther: SmAll Get Together KyA
HotA HAi.?
Son: Only U, Me And Principle......###
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HusbAnd: AgAr OperAtion Ke DAurAn
Mujhe Kuch Ho JAye, To Usi
Doctor Se ShAdi KAr LenA.
Biwi: AisA Kyun Keh RAhe Ho?
HusbAnd: To KyA Doctor Ko MAAf KAr Du.
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Kehte HAin UppArwAle Ne Is
JAhAn Me, HAr Kisi Ke Liye
Kisi NA Kisi Ko BAnAyA HAi,
KAhi Mere WAle Ne Suicide To
NAhi KAr LiyA Mil Hi NAhi RAhA......###......###

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HusbAnd And Wife Are Sleeping,
Wife DreAming And She Suddenly
Shouts.....???
Quick, My HusbAnd Is BAck.....???
HusbAnd Gets Up In Lightening
Speed & Jumps Out Of The Window......###
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ArrAnged MArriAge Is Like.....???
U Are WAlking And UnfortunAtely
A SnAke Bites U.....???
And Love MArriAge Is.....???
DAncing In Front Of A CobrA
And SAying.....???
Come Bite .....??? Come Bite Me.....???.......###
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Two Friends Were WAlking But
Suddenly They Stopped.....???
1st: Oh My God, My Girlfrnd And
My Wife Are Coming Together.....???
2nd: DAmn Mine Too.....???.....???......###
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Wife: JAAnu.....???
MondAy .....??? Shopping
TuesdAy .....??? Hotel
WednesdAy .....??? Outing
ThursdAy .....??? Dinner
FridAy .....??? Movie
SAturdAy .....??? Picnic
KitnA MAAzA AAyegA.....???
HusbAnd: Yes, SundAy MAndir.....???
Wife: Kyu.....????
HusbAnd: "Bheek MAAngne"
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HusbAnd: Hume To Apno Ne LootA
GAiro Me KAhA DAm ThA HAmAri KAshti
Doobi WAhA JAhA PAAni KAm ThA.....???
Wife: Tum To ThAy Hi GAdhe TumhAri
AkAl Me KAhA DAm ThA WAhA KAshti
LekAr Kyu GAye JAhA PAAni KAm ThA.....???
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Ek Jungle Me SAb JAAnwAr GAA
RAhe ThAy.....???
PAAn PArAg PAAn MAsAlA
PAAn PArAg.....???
PAr GirAffe NAhi GAA RAhA ThA.....???
Qki.....???
Unche Log Unchi PAsAnd
MAnikchAnd.....???

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Hum Roz Msg Kyu Bhejte HAin.?
For MAAsti .....??? No
For TimepAss .....??? No.....???
Hum Msg Bhejte HAin,
TAAki AApki ReAding CApAcity
Strong Ho.....??? PAdhegA IndiA
TAbhi To BAdhegA IndiA.....???
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PAti: Mujhe Neend NAhi AA RAhi HAi.....???
PAtni: JAAo JAkAr BArtAn SAAf KAr Do.....???
PAti: Neend Me Bol RAhA Hu PAgli.....???......###
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BekAAr HAi Wo Log Jo Apne
Lover Ko Miss Krte HAi, Are
Miss KArnA HAi To MAchAro
Ko KAro, Jo Apne JAAn PAr
Khel KAr Tmhe Kiss Krte HAi.
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Dil Ke OperAtion Ko BYEPASS Kyu
Kehte HAi.? Socho Socho.....????
Socho.? Qki.....???
AgAr OperAtion Thik Ho GAyA
To PASS.....??? WArne BYE BYE.....???......###
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Boss To His Frnd: KyA ZAmAnA
AAyA HAi, My SecretAry
Resigned YesterdAy.....???
Frnd: But Why.....????
Boss: She
CAught Me Kissing My Wife.....???......###
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BhAgwAn Aur Doctor Ko KAbi
NArAz MAt KArnA.....??? Qki.....???
BhAgwAn NArAz To AAp Doctor
Ke PAAs, Aur Doctor NArAz
To AAp Sidhe BhAgwAn Ke
PAAs.....??? SAb Setting HAi .....???......###

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Puri BotAl NA SAhi Ek JAAm
To Ho JAye, MulAqAt NA SAhi
DuA SAlAm To Ho JAye, Jin
K Sms K IntzAAr Me Ho GAye
Hum BeemAr, Un Ko BukhAAr
NA SAhi ZukAAm To Ho JAye.
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KAnjoos: Doctor DAAnt NiklAvAnA
HAi, Kitne PAise Loge.....????
Doctor: Rs 200
KAnjoos: Ye Lo Rs 50, DAAnt DhilAA
KAr Do, NikAAl MAi Khud LungA.....???......###
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AiswAriyA's DAughter ArAddhyA
Going To PlAy School.....???
TeAcher: Who Is Ur GrAndfAther.?
ArAddhyA: Big B
TeAcher: Who Is Ur Mother.?
ArAddhyA: Miss World
TeAcher: Who Is Ur FAther.?
ArAddhyA: No IdeA Sir Ji.....???......###
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God: I CAnt Be Everywhere,
So I CreAted Mother.....???
Evil: I Too CAnt Be Everywhere,
So I CreAted Mother-In-LAw.....???......###
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If U Feel Stressed, Give
Urself A BreAk, Enjoy Some.....???
Ice CreAm ChocolAtes CAndy
CAke.....??? Why.....???? Bcoz
STRESSED KA UltA Spelling,
DESSERTS HotA HAi.....???......###
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Plz ForwArd This Msg To All U
CAre, Dont Drink WAter
Without Boiling.....??? BecAuse
Fishes Swim Without WeAring
Huggies, Now Plz Dont
SAy ThAnks.....??? I CAre For U.....???......###
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HusbAnd: Do U Know The MeAning
Of Wife.....????
It MeAns Without InformAtion
Fighting Everytime.....???
Wife: No DArling,
It MeAns With Idiot For Ever.....???......###
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Doctor: Ur HusbAnd Needs Rest 
And PeAce,
Here Are Some Sleeping Pills.....???
Wife: When Must I Give Them
To Him.....????
Doctor: They Are For U.....???......###
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Wife: I HAd To MArry U To
Find Out How Stupid U Are.....???
HusbAnd: U Should HAve Known It
The Minute I Asked U To MArry Me......###
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GAdhA: MerA MAAlik BAhut MArtA HAi.....???
KuttA: To Tu BhAAg Kyu NAhi JAAtA.....????
GAdhA: Uski KhubsurAt LAdki HAi,
JAb PAdhAi NAhi KArti To KehtA HAi,
Teri ShAAdi GhAde Se KArA DungA.....???
BAs Isi Umeed Pe TikA Hu.....???......###
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FAther: U Should MArry This
Girl, She Is KAlAvAti,
GunwAnti And RoopmAti.....???
Son: I'll HAve To MArry My
Girlfrnd, Bcoz She's GArbhAvAti......###
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90% Girls In FAcebook SAy
They Are In RelAtionship.....???
90% Boys In FAcebook SAy
They Are Single.....???
Then Who Are LiArs.....????.....????
Boys Or Girls.....??????
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A HusbAnd GAve The Key Of
His New CAr To Wife,
With A WArning.....???
DArling,
If U Met With Accident,
NewspApers Will Print Ur Age......###
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Girl To God After Results.....???
HAzAro Ki KismAt There HAAth
Me Thi, AgAr PAss KAr DetA
To KyA BAAt Thi.....??? God Replied.....???
KitAAbe To SAri Tere PAAs Thi,
AgAr Boyfrnd ThodA KAm BAnA
Leti To KyA BAAt Thi.....???......###
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Positive Thinking Poem.....???
Little Bird In The Sky,
Dropping Potty In Ur Eye,
U Dont Worry U Dont Cry,
U Just ThAnk God ThAt
ElephAnts CAnt Fly.....???......###
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Kiss Is A Key Of Love, Love
Is A Lock Of MArriAge,
MArriAge Is A Box Of
Children, Children Is A
Future Of IndiA, So StArt
Kissing And Devlop IndiA.....???......###
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Angry HusbAnd Sms To FAther
In LAw.....??? Ur Product Not
MAtching My Requirements.....???
FAther In LAw: WArrAnty Expired,
MAnufActure Not Responsible.....???......###
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TodAy I WAs In An Auto,
When The Auto Driver SAid.....???
I Love This Job, I Am My Own
Boss.....???
Nobody Tells Me WhAt To Do.....???
Then I Replied,
GAdhe, AAge Se Left Le.....???......###

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JAb Se HuA HAi PyAr Dil BAs Me
NAhi Ho RAhA HAi, SAb Ho RAhA HAi
Minus Kuch Plus NAhi Ho RAhA
HAi.....??? AApke PyAr KA AjAb SA
JAAdu ChAA GAyA HAi, NA CArbon
Dioxide BAhAr JA RAhA HAi,
NA Oxygen AndAr AA RAhA HAi.....???......###
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MAusAm Ye HAseen KehtA HAi PyAr
KArle, Dil DeewAnA KehtA HAi
IkrAAr KArle.....??? ChAhAt Kehti
HAi IzhAAr KArle, PAr Mummy Kehti
HAi Pehle Mbbs To PAss KArle......###
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AAsmAAn FAtA Aur DhArti Hil
GAyi, AAp Ne SochA Humse Mukti
Mil GAyi.....??? Arre Hum ZArA
SA Busy KyA Hue, AAp Ne SochA
AcchA HAi MusibAt TAl GAyi......###
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RoothA HAi Wo Aise Humse, JAise
Hum SAch Me Unhe MAnA Lenge.....???
ItnA WAqt KAun BekAAr KAre, Itne
Me To Hum DusrA PAtA Lenge.....???......###
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AcchA SilA DiyA Tune Mere PyAr
KA, YAAr Ne Hi Loot LiyA GhAr
YAAr KA.....??? Now Remix.....???
AcchA KurtA SiyA Tune Mere NAAp KA,
NAAp MerA LiyA Aur SiyA BAAp KA.....???......###
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Msg NA KArke Dil Tod DiyA MerA,
Ab ApnA Iphone Ko DAfnA DenA.....???
KAfAn NA Mile To ApnA RumAl
UdhA DenA, Koi Puche Rog
KyA ThA.....???? To NAzre JhukA
Ke Apni KAnjoosi BAtA DenA.....???......###

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